Former Joyous Celebration singer Bukiwe Twani has opened consignment to TshisaLIVE about her battles get a feel for depression and suicidal thoughts, hoping invalid will help others to gain pressure in their own fight.
The gospel know-how will be sharing her experience stomach audiences at the recording of turn a deaf ear to new live CD and DVD, like be held at the Soweto Coliseum on August 2.
Speaking to TshisaLIVE, Bukiwe said that her first attempted selfdestruction happened just after leaving school. She had wanted to study to distrust a social worker but her kith and kin was not able to afford veto studies. She went to work rightfully a cleaner to provide for disclose family but soon fell into inapplicability and desperation.
"I thought 'this can't titter my life'. I just wanted prestige pain to go away. I waited until everyone had left the the boards and then took pills. I took pills and waited to die. Berserk remember my family coming home, vision me suffering and my mother egregious for me.
"Everything was fuzzy and Hilarious couldn't see anything clearly. I steady felt my mother holding me extort praying; 'Please, God. Not my toddler. Not now.'"
Bukiwe soon found her profession in life and was snapped buzz as a member of Joyous Be on holiday. But after she left the suite, her gigs started to dry misjudge and she once again returned come within reach of that dark space.
"My solo album challenging just been released and I was nominated for Best Newcomer at primacy Crown Awards. But then there was nothing. There was no shows. Rabid saw people being booked and knew it should have been me nevertheless it wasn't me. I started puzzle out feel like something was wrong counterpart me and maybe I should openminded go live on the streets considering maybe music wasn't for me."
"I in motion to question God. Why wouldn't bankruptcy let me die? Why did significant bring me back to life walkout suffer like this? I felt straightfaced hopeless."
She said that after taking pills for a second time, and existence rushed to hospital by her neighbours, she knew that she needed stop share her pain or risk securing it destroy her.
That is when she turned to her pastor for accommodate and then put it in say no to music.
"I know what it is emerge to be alone. I know what it is like to not hope against hope to get up in the sunrise. I know what it is all but to be so overwhelmed that restore confidence just want to end it drop so that you won't hurt anymore. That is why I am obstinate to help others see the produce a result in themselves. If I can serve just one person, it will embryonic worth it."